The problem
You're about to end someone's job. Maybe a layoff. Maybe a performance termination. Maybe both. You've been carrying the weight for a week. You don't want to do this conversation. The instinct is to soften it — open with chitchat, lead with compliments, get to the point only after warming them up. That instinct is wrong. Every minute you delay the message is a minute they're processing false information about why they were called into your office.
Compassionate termination is direct. The directness is the compassion. The Difficult Conversations Playbook Chapter 13 outlines the protocol used by HR professionals at scale — pre-flight checklist, first 30 seconds, what to say and what to never say, and how to manage "survivor syndrome" in the team that remains.
The mechanism
Three things govern the protocol.
Documentation prevents legal exposure. Before any termination — especially performance-based — verify that a comprehensive documentation trail exists: PIPs, attendance records, disciplinary warnings, dated. Without it, the company is exposed to discrimination claims under Title VII, WARN Act violations, and OWBPA non-compliance. Documentation is the protective layer; if it doesn't exist yet, the termination is premature.
Directness is kindness. Burying the message in small talk creates false hope and prolongs the trauma. The standard is: be direct and clear within the first 2 minutes. The person knows something is up the moment you call them in. Stretching it for 10 minutes of preamble feels merciful and isn't. They're processing false information about why they were called in the entire time.
Logistics + dignity in equal measure. After the message, the conversation pivots to logistics: severance, benefits, return of equipment, reference policy, transition support. Each of these is a place to preserve dignity — or to compound the injury. Have all the documents prepared in advance. Don't make promises about future rehire. Don't let the meeting happen on a Friday afternoon.
The protocol
Five steps. The first three are pre-meeting; the last two are the meeting itself and what comes after.
Pre-flight checklist — before scheduling
Verify each item before you put the meeting on the calendar: documentation trail complete (PIPs, warnings, attendance — all dated). Legal/HR has reviewed. Severance prepared and approved. Private location secured (not a glass-walled conference room). Survivor communication plan drafted. Witnesses identified (HR partner is standard). If any item is missing, do not schedule — fix the gap first.
Schedule it correctly — early week, private
Early in the workweek (Tuesday-Wednesday is ideal), not Friday afternoon. Private location. Block 30-45 minutes minimum (you may need less, but never run short). Have the HR partner present. Have water and tissues available. Make sure the person can leave the building without walking through the team — and if they need to retrieve personal items, plan that explicitly.
First 30 seconds — direct, prepared, unambiguous
Open with the message. Three sentences, drafted in advance: "I have hard news. I'm letting you go effective today. I want to walk you through what happens next." Or for layoff: "I have hard news. The company is making cuts and your role is being eliminated effective today. I want to walk you through what happens next." Read it from notes if you need to. Do not soften the message. Do not couch it in praise. The directness is the dignity.
Pivot to logistics — with humanity
Once they've absorbed the message, walk through the logistics calmly: severance amount and timing, benefits continuation (COBRA / equivalent), return of equipment, reference policy, outplacement support if offered. Have all documents ready. Sign nothing today. Hand them the packet to review with counsel of their choice. Make no promises about future rehire or specific reference language — those come from HR, in writing.
After the meeting — survivor management + next steps
The team finding out tomorrow is the next conversation. "Survivor syndrome" (anxiety, lowered productivity, suspicion about future cuts) sets in if the announcement is opaque or delayed. Communicate transparently within 24 hours: who is gone, what role, what changes for remaining work. Do not share confidential personal details. Address the unstated question every survivor is asking: "Am I next?" Answer it directly if you can. "There are no further reductions planned" if true; "I'll communicate as soon as I have more information" if uncertain.
The printable: a wallet card
Print this. Bring it to the pre-meeting prep. Do not bring it into the meeting itself.