The problem
You're walking into a negotiation. Salary, contract, vendor terms, a co-founder split, a divorce. The instinct is to figure out your number and hold the line. The other side has done the same. Two opening positions, fifty miles apart. Hours of grinding back and forth. Either someone caves and resents it, or no deal happens and the relationship corrodes.
Most negotiations get stuck because both sides are arguing positions. The Harvard Method, codified by Roger Fisher and William Ury in Getting to Yes and operationalized in Difficult Conversations Ch. 7, gives you four principles that move every conversation off positions and onto interests — where deals actually live.
The mechanism
Three things make principled negotiation outperform positional bargaining.
Positions hide interests. A position is the specific outcome you're demanding. An interest is the underlying need that produced the demand. "I want $145K" is a position. "I want to feel that my contribution is valued, and I need to cover daycare and my mortgage" is the interest. Two parties' positions can be incompatible while their interests overlap dramatically. Move the conversation to interests and the deal space expands.
BATNA is your real leverage. BATNA — Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement — is your fallback if this negotiation fails. A strong BATNA gives you confidence and options; a weak BATNA leaves you stuck accepting bad terms. Define your BATNA before any meaningful negotiation. The strength of your BATNA is the actual lever, not your tone or your tactics.
Objective criteria short-circuit ego. Anchoring agreements to external standards — market data, industry benchmarks, legal precedent, comparable transactions — converts "my will vs. your will" into "what does the data say." When both parties anchor to the same criteria, the conversation becomes about interpretation, not power.
The protocol
Five steps. The four Harvard pillars + the BATNA preparation that has to happen before you walk in.
Define your BATNA — before the meeting
Write down explicitly: what is my best alternative if this negotiation completely fails? Other job offers? Other vendors? Walking away entirely? The strength of your BATNA determines your true negotiation power. If your BATNA is weak, take time to strengthen it before negotiating — find another offer, build a parallel option, demonstrate you have alternatives. Walking in with a weak undefined BATNA is the most common failure mode in negotiation.
Separate the people from the problem
View yourselves as collaborators attacking a mutual problem, not adversaries attacking each other. Address the factual summit of the dispute while remaining empathetic to the emotional dynamics beneath. Practically: name the relational frame at the top of the conversation. "I want us both to leave this conversation feeling we worked it out together." Even one sentence resets the adversarial default.
Focus on interests, not positions
Ask why behind every position. Why do you need $145K specifically? Why is the deadline non-negotiable? Why must the contract include this clause? Each "why" surfaces an interest. Name your own interests too — they're often less rigid than your position. Interests overlap. Positions don't.
Generate options for mutual gain
Before deciding, brainstorm. Suspend judgment. "Enlarge the pie before dividing it." If salary is fixed, what about signing bonus, equity, PTO, professional development budget, flexible hours, defined performance review timeline? If price is fixed, what about payment terms, scope, exclusivity, warranty? Most negotiations leave value on the table because options are generated only after positions have hardened.
Insist on objective criteria
Anchor to market benchmarks, legal precedent, industry standards, comparable transactions. "For directors with my track record in this region, comp typically ranges from $130K to $145K" is more powerful than "I want $140K." When both parties commit to objective criteria, the negotiation moves from will vs. will to interpretation of evidence. The party with the stronger evidence usually wins; both parties usually feel the process was fair.
The printable: a wallet card
Print this. Run it before any negotiation where the dollar amount or stakes feel high. The 5-minute prep matters more than the words you'll say in the room.