For a lot of people — especially with ADHD, trauma histories, or chronic pain — sitting still to meditate is genuinely aversive, and "just try harder to sit" is the advice that makes them quit. The skill underneath mindfulness doesn't require a cushion. It can be trained in things you already do every day.
By Jared Ohman5 min readLast updated June 2026Source: Self-Care, Ch. 6
Attend, notice wandering, return. This simple cycle is the mental equivalent of a bicep curl. Each repetition strengthens the attentional muscle.
— The Self-Care You Were Never Taught, Ch. 6
SHORT ANSWER
Formal seated meditation is the most-studied mindfulness practice, but it's not the only entry point. For people who find sitting still aversive — including many with ADHD, trauma histories, or chronic pain — informal practices train the same attention-regulation and decentering skills that produce mindfulness's benefits. Examples: mindful walking (attention on each footfall), mindful eating (one meal a week with full attention to taste and texture), mindful listening (one conversation a day receiving fully, not planning your reply), and routine mindfulness (doing one daily routine — brushing teeth, washing dishes — with complete sensory attention instead of autopilot). The common mechanism is the same simple cycle: direct attention, notice when it wanders, gently return it. Each repetition is a rep for the attentional muscle.
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The problem
Everyone says meditate. So you try, you sit, and within ninety seconds your skin is crawling, your mind is sprinting, and you decide mindfulness "isn't for you." If you have ADHD, trauma, or chronic pain, sitting still can be genuinely aversive — and the standard advice to push through it just teaches you that you're bad at the one thing that's supposed to help.
But the cushion was never the point. The benefits of mindfulness come from a skill, and the skill can be trained without ever sitting still.
The mechanism
Formal seated meditation is the most-researched practice, but it's one entry point, not the only one. The benefits come from two trainable skills — attention regulation and decentering (observing your experience without being swept away by it) — and informal practices train them just as well:
Mindful walking — attention on each footfall, the movement of your legs, the air on your skin. Mindful eating — one meal a week with full attention to taste, texture, temperature, hunger and satiety. Mindful listening — one conversation a day received fully, not planning your response or evaluating, just receiving. Routine mindfulness — pick one daily routine (brushing teeth, washing dishes, showering) and do it with complete sensory attention instead of autopilot.
The common mechanism across all of them is identical: direct attention, notice when it wanders, gently return it. That cycle — attend, notice, return — is the rep. The wandering isn't failure; the noticing-and-returning is exactly the thing that strengthens the attentional muscle.
The operating system
STEP 01
Drop "I can't meditate"
Separate the skill from the cushion. You're not bad at mindfulness; sitting still is just a hard delivery method for your nervous system. Pick a moving or doing practice instead.
For ADHD especially, movement-based mindfulness often works far better than stillness. That's not a workaround — it's a valid path.
STEP 02
Pick one informal practice
Choose a single anchor — a daily walk, one weekly meal, one conversation, or one routine chore. Don't do all four. One practice, done regularly, builds the skill.
Attach it to something you already do (the walk to the car, the morning shower) so it doesn't need extra time.
STEP 03
Run the cycle: attend, notice, return
During the practice, put attention on the sensory experience. When your mind wanders — and it will, constantly — notice it without judgment and gently bring it back. That return is the entire exercise.
Counting the returns instead of getting frustrated by the wandering reframes the whole thing. Each return is a point scored.
STEP 04
Expect constant wandering
Your attention will leave dozens of times in a few minutes. That's not a sign you're failing — it's the mechanism working. A mind that never wandered would give you nothing to train.
"My mind wandered the whole time" means you got a full set of reps, not that you did it wrong.
STEP 05
Let it generalize
Over weeks, the attend-notice-return skill starts showing up off the mat — you catch yourself spiraling sooner, you're more present in conversations. That transfer is the real payoff, and it comes from any consistent practice, cushion or not.
The goal isn't to be good at the practice. It's for the practice to make you steadier everywhere else.
The printable: informal mindfulness
Print it. No cushion required.
MINDFULNESS WITHOUT MEDITATION
Attend · notice wandering · return.
WALK
Attention on each footfall, your legs, the air on your skin.
EAT
One meal a week, full attention to taste, texture, hunger, satiety.
LISTEN
One conversation a day, fully received — not planning your reply.
ROUTINE
One daily chore done with full sensory attention, not autopilot.
THE REP
Mind wanders → notice → return. The wandering isn't failure.
Do I have to meditate to get mindfulness benefits?
No. Formal seated meditation is the most-studied form, but informal practices train the same underlying skills — attention regulation and decentering (observing your experience without being swept into it). For people who find sitting still aversive, informal mindfulness offers an equivalent path to the same benefits.
What are informal mindfulness practices?
Mindful walking (attention on each footfall and the air on your skin), mindful eating (one meal a week with full attention to taste and texture), mindful listening (one conversation a day fully received, not planning your response), and routine mindfulness (one daily routine done with complete sensory attention instead of autopilot). They weave the practice into things you already do.
What actually trains the skill?
The same simple cycle across every practice: deliberately direct your attention, notice when it wanders (it will), and gently return it. That cycle — attend, notice wandering, return — is the mental equivalent of a bicep curl. The wandering isn't failure; noticing and returning is the rep.
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SOURCES & CITATIONS▾
All claims on this page are cited in The Self-Care You Were Never Taught, Chapter 6. The informal-practice approach draws on mindfulness research showing attention-regulation and decentering as the active skills, trainable through formal or informal practice.